Thursday, 25 August 2011

Acknowledgment










I’ve been reflecting on ‘acknowledgement’ in  the old use of ‘know’ to mean a deep heart awareness and intimacy – and the prefix ‘a(d) – towards - as it plays out in my life. Here is one result:



Phone rings.
Dinner cooking,
Time-clock rushing towards a deadline only I have made.
Dinner. Meal. Dishes. Meeting…

Imposing structure on the eternal
Chopping life into little bits of hours and minutes,
Seconds off the clock of my life
As I hurtle heedless on towards my death
When the eternal will claim me again.


Meeting this evening, things to do
And here you are, old friend.
Known for years, yes,
And older too in human terms.
Your years some twenty more than mine.
Or is it more?

Old enough to be a little frailer
Than when first I met you in your prime.
Life buffets you now,
As you watch the beloved
Mind and body moving relentlessly
Away from vigour and
On towards death. 
On towards death.


Your words are bright and strong –
But your voice gives you away. A little strained.
He’s had a bad day and you need
To talk. And yes now is 
Fine. Yes really.  
Give me a moment to turn the element
Down.

Stop the timer Jasmine.
Take a breath and be here.
Now. Listen.

Take a breath Jasmine. Close your eyes, stop
Watching that clock, and listen.
Come present now.
Let it be fine,
Yes. Really fine.
Let mind still and come into rhythm
With your gently beating heart.
 
An invitation to ac-knowledge you.
Opening a heart and surrendering my illusion of control
Of time and events. Let go of the outcome.
Be here and now.
Old friend.
Be.

Let me ac-knowledge you.
Open towards in loving presence.
Open to your experience,
Call my restless mind to heel and heal
And drop into my heart.
Breathe. Relax. Come present

I ac-knowledge you.
I open towards –
Let myself feel you. Even for a moment.
It will heal, I’ve known it before.

Heart to heart and energy to energy.
Let me be calm,
Calm enough to feel you.

Dwell and abide Jasmine, In your inner self.
Allow the essential me to touch the essential you.

It’s not my words you need to hear
It’s my heart you need to feel.
A wordless reassurance and ac-knowledgement of
Your heart’s ache.

You talk yourself through to a brighter place
 -  And it didn’t take long really, Jasmine.
Dinner, meal, dishes, all done still and time to leave.
It can be a ‘both-and’ world when I choose.

The  moment and the grace  to open and be still.
It was here – and yes I took it.

Looking back later that evening from meeting
Attended and on to bed, I realise
Afresh the grace of moment is all I have

The opportunity to be fully here. To live this life
As fully as I can – and to ac-knowledge
What comes across my path –
with open heart
And still mind.

A grace given and received.
Thank you for your call.



Sunday, 7 August 2011

Judgment and Discernment

A question came up over the weekend that set me to thinking deeply.

I was leading a Relationship Healing Retreat and we’d done some processes to clear ourselves of the accumulated guilt and shame and blame that leaks out to poison our closest relationships.

A young woman raised the question ‘It’s all very well to clear my guilt and self-judgment, but what if I HAVE behaved badly in this relationship? What if I could have done things better? What about taking responsibility for MY part in the breakdown of the friendship?”

It was a terrific question and it touches so deeply into the heart of our human experience that I want to explore it a little here.

 She was referring, I believe, to two different responses which in English are often lumped together under the one word: judgment. However they feel very different, and I will use the words judgment and discernment to clarify the difference.

The essence of spiritual growth and healing is restoring our vision of ourselves and of the world to wholeness – from fragmentation to unity. From seeing life as a series of haphazard events, to perceiving the underlying unity of all things.

In spiritual terms this is often called developing a unitive consciousness, or a heart- centred perspective. (Jesus referred to it as ‘seeing with a single eye’ Mark 9:47) 

When the world is a series of connections, judgment of the sort I am talking about separates things that in essence are joined. When I decide that you are wrong and I am right I close a door in my heart that ultimately shuts us both out of the place of truth where true healing and restoration can occur.

Equally when I reject a part of myself that I don’t like or don’t approve of, the results are just as destructive. As one woman said to me when describing her inner resistance to letting go of her judgment: “I’ve created a barbed wire fence inside. And I see that the barbs point in both directions.”

 When I respond to something or someone in judgment it feels like a door closing in my chest.  To feel it for yourself try this little exercise.

Spend a few minutes thinking about something that makes you feel open and loving – a little child, a favourite pet, even a beautiful landscape. Notice how relaxed and light you feel in your chest and around your heart.

Now think about something you did that you regret or are ashamed of.  Is there a shift in your chest?

If you can feel a door shutting or a tightness in any way – then you are judging yourself. You have shut out a part of yourself – and that part will continue to hurt (and to play out in unexpected ways in your life) until allowed back into consciousness.

Because everything is joined, it doesn’t matter whether I am closing my heart to you or to part of me – both create division and pain. Both ultimately are less than the Highest Good for ourselves and for others.
 
In terms of energy, this form of judgment really does limit the amount of love and joy I can experience in my life.

That is why bitterness leads ultimately to sickness.  Close your heart often enough in the course of a lifetime and you literally shut off the supply of life force in your system. You quite simply close down the body’s ability to renew itself and heal.

The good news is that this process can be reversed. When we decide to let go, to forgive, to open the door again, then life force automatically rushes back in to fill the part that was closed.  That is why every spiritual tradition stresses the need to forgive others and forgive ourselves.

But that is not the same as saying that anything goes. There are choices that are destructive and cause pain for ourselves and others. How are we to respond to  these?  How are we to decide on a course of action?

If judgment is not the best way to navigate our way through the world, how then are we to make decisions?

That is where discernment comes in. Discernment feels very different. Discernment comes more from the heart than the rational mind, it is intuitive rather than logical and is able to respond to subtle shifts and movements in a situation.

Judgment (in the sense I am referring to it) tends to make one decision and stick with it. Discernment can recognise that today is a new day and that yesterday’s decision may need to be adjusted subtly to fit today’s circumstances.

Judgment sits down with an old map to try to plan a way into tomorrow. Discernment reads the signs, sees that the sands have shifted and that the best route to where we want to go has moved.

Discernment can choose the path to Highest Good for ourselves and others, without closing energetically against the path not chosen. It says ‘I choose this’ and simply turns attention in that direction. Remaining open and free, discernment does not need to justify itself, nor push against another choice.

Judgment by its very nature is closed. Discernment remains alive and fluid and open.

Judgment keeps our ego self (the self that believes in separation) in control. Discernment requires that we walk forward in trust, that we learn from our mistakes,  that we keep growing and expanding in our awareness and our understanding.


Judgment is based in yesterday’s experience. Discernment is operating out of here and now.

The more we let go of our judgements – the more easily we can discern.

So coming back to the question at the retreat. We were clearing the baggage of conscious and unconscious judgments about ourselves and others which restrict the flow of life and love and joy in our most important relationships.

And once that is gone – once we can see ourselves clearly and with compassion – then we are in a place to discern where our actions need to be changed, where an apology is owing, or when we need to speak up about something that is troubling us.

When we clear the accumulated poison from our unconscious minds, then what we need to do and say can be done freely and openly – without the hidden agendas which cause such friction and unhappiness. And when  we are free and open, it is amazing how free and open others become in response.

And I’m discerning that this blog is quite long enough already – and it’s time for a cup of tea!

 Jasmine


 If this post raises questions you'd like to discuss I'd be delighted to hear from you. You can contact me here





Monday, 1 August 2011

Enjoying the Journey

I went exploring over the weekend. Exploring my inner world that is.

Reading The Map by Colette Baron-Reid has brought to consciousness my instinctive awareness of the inner landscapes I inhabit. And, most importantly, (thank you Colette) my ability to rework the contours and change my map at will.

When I turned my gaze inward on Saturday evening I knew immediately that i was pacing the edges of a lake, looking across to another land that was shrouded in mist. I’ve been there some time, waiting impatiently for a vehicle to ferry me across to the other shore. And as yet it had not appeared

Realising the mythical and magical nature of this land it was immediately obvious that I needed to summon the boat – or alternatively fly. It’s been a while that I’ve paced the Edges of Frustration, and by nature I tend to be impatient and impetuous. So I elected to fly.

The lake passed without a blink and I was flowing over the northern island, seeing that the land near the shore was uninviting at a glance and bordered by snow-capped mountains.

Beyond them though is the land I seek. A broad and fertile plain, sunny and green, sheltered and inviting with a wide river flowing through it and gleaming in the sunlight.

I landed quickly and ran about in delight exploring this new landscape. Casually I dipped a bucket of money from the River of Abundance and poured it onto the Garden of Dreams that I’ve planted there over the years, making flying visits but never before believing I could live there

I was surprised, in fact a little shocked, to see how instantly they sprouted, grew and bore fruit when doused with a good quantity of cash.

That was enough for one evening’s work, and I fell asleep pondering the significance of it all. If the world needs my dreams, is it my responsibility to allow through the money to manifest them then?

Morning brought fresh reflection, And the possibility that by flying straight into the Land Of Wealth I might be missing valuable lessons to be learned from traversing the land nearer the coast, and taking the pass through the mountains that I know exists.
 
Perhaps even flying across the lake was depriving me of experiences I would  treasure, and that would help me in my settling of the Plain of Riches?

So I’ve decided to take the boat. I was even prepared to row it myself, but find it is gliding along quite nicely by itself. Powered by my intention I suppose.

As I was delighting in the feel of the mist on my face – one of my most favourite experiences – it came to me suddenly: a fresh realisation that it is enjoying the journey that makes life so worthwhile, not just the arrival at a longed-for destination.

I’m garnering riches in every moment that I’m fully present and open to What Is, allowing Spirit and the power of my Intention to sort out the details while I focus on being heart-centred and heart-open to whatever occurs.

I’ll keep you posted on my travels. For now I’m enjoying the ride. 

Jasmine
© Jasmine Sampson
1st August 2011

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Wasting Time

 I am sitting in the sun right now. It’s winter and after a week of torrential rain the sun has finally returned, with frosty mornings and lovely clear days.

Two days ago I woke at 5.30 and got up for some early morning exercise. I had a delightful half hour walking through the part of our road that runs into farmland.

I was entranced by the sight of the full moon shining through the mist ; by frosty air on my face contrasting with the comfort of warm hat and gloves; by early morning bird song and the sounds of stream and cattle quietly moving through the half dark in paddocks alongside the road.

The final joy was capturing on camera the sunrise through mist.

I returned home filled full of thankfulness for living in this particular part of the world, and the appreciation spilled over into my meditation and sparkled through the rest of my day.

Yesterday on the other hand I woke just as early – but did not get up. I lay in bed for 45 minutes or so, thinking that it would be a good idea to get up now – until after daybreak when the window of magical pre-dawn light had closed.

 I left myself no time for a walk – and went to meditation with that vague dissatisfaction I get when I have not acted in accordance with my own best instincts and urges.

Once upon  a time (about last week) I would have given myself a hard time for wasting that time in bed, but I’m working on not beating myself up so often. Challenging that critical habit and making the effort to be loving and accepting of myself, faults and foibles included.

So I was focusing on being fully present to the moments of time I did have, rather than regretting misuse of ones gone, when I had a sudden insight.

What if wasting time isn’t what we usually think it is?

There is a lot in our popular culture about the importance of time and of using it well. It’s the one resource we can’t replace, time is money, manage time and you manage your life and so on and so forth.

Certainly time and how we use it is important. It is a dimension that we as spiritual beings have chosen to express ourselves in during our visits to earth. And we need to learn how to operate within its confines with as much skill as we do in the dimensions of space and matter.

However the majority of popular time-wisdom that I read, certainly in business circles, encourages me to micromanage my day. I am to schedule my diary in fifteen minute blocks; use the time travelling between appointments to listen to training material, practice my elevator speech when I am waiting at the traffic lights… on and on it goes.

The underlying paradigm holds up constant expansion and visible productivity as the highest goals.

Now there is some truth in this – and much useful advice to be gleaned. There is part of me which responds to the lure and promise of a tidy desk, an empty inbox and the satisfaction of a completed ‘To Do’ list.

However I find that if I try to operate too much in efficiency mode, my nasty little internal manager snaps to attention very quickly. And frankly she makes me miserable.

Too much demand for perfection. Too many complaints and criticisms, and not enough laughter and joy. I don’t like her company very much. And my loved ones like her even less!

So while I value (highly) the place of organisation and structure in my life, I’m learning to sit lightly to it. To use it more as servant and less as master.

Which is a long way around to my original insight.

What if wasting time is not failing to wring every last gram of activity and productivity out of the minutes in my day, but failing to be fully present to my experience right now?

If this is true then the minutes I am taking to sit in the sun with my mid-morning drink mean I am making progress in the lessons of time-school.

I am learning to luxuriate in the warmth on my face and to feel the stillness of the air; to hear how different bird calls play a melody against the dull bass notes of distant; to notice the play of sunlight and shadow on the leaves of geranium and basil-mint at my feet; to catch the glint of spider threads and snail trails in the sunlight. I am even learning to appreciate how the shading and colours of the dying weed I pulled out yesterday and discarded untidily on the path adds interest and texture to the whole…

I have a strong hunch that these minutes letting myself feel and smell and see and listen – right into the nuances of this minute - are what my soul means me to learn in this experience of space and time.

It’s less about do-ing and more about be-ing. Here and now. Fully present. Fully alive. Appreciative and accepting.

So the waste of time yesterday morning was not that I didn’t get up for a walk. It was that I spent those minute thinking that I ‘should’ get up. Instead of fully appreciating and experiencing the joy and pleasure of lying warm and snug in a comfortable bed.

So I’m working on bringing ‘Here-Now-Fully-Present-Is-ness’ into everything I do. From filling the kettle and making my drink, to writing this reflection and answering emails and spending time with my clients.

And on being gentle when I find my mind has wandered and I am no longer truly ‘here’.

Which it does! Often!

So I’ll keep you posted on my progress in time-class.

In the meantime, perhaps you’d like to find a snail-trail of your own!

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Crossing to Connected-Land


Earlier this year I decided it was time to cross to Connected-Land.

“Where the heck is that?” I hear you ask. Good  question.

You see, I read a book a few months ago entitled Hidden Power for Human Problems by Frederick Bailes. It was a relatively old book- published in 1957 - but it came up with some very relevant ideas for modern living.

Old Fred Bailes asserted that all human difficulties can be traced to some core beliefs about the way the world is.

Beliefs such as illness and trouble are natural, and that the world is a dangerous place.

And  underneath those beliefs, Fred says, is humanity’s core belief in separation – from anything and everything other than this little parcel of flesh we call a body, and which we think is ourselves

Collectively, we are living out of a world created through our combined belief that we are separated – from each other, from the Earth and the Universe as a whole, from deep essential parts of ourselves –and from God (or Source, or the Universal Mind or whatever you want to call that Consciousness which is bigger than us and which we sense is our origin)

And that made sense to me.  I saw that deep inside I was expecting a degree of struggle and rejection and outright difficulty in life and that sure enough – I was manifesting that on a fairly consistent basis.

And I knew for sure that I’d had enough of living that way.

I was tired of struggle and worn out with striving. In fact I’ve been tired of these things for some time now and excitedly discovering the ways I could create change through love and forgiveness and meditation and prayer.

In fact I’ve been on this road for over thirty years now – and sharing my discoveries with you via www.HowToCreateMiracles.com for a while.
So I read Fred’s book eagerly – and did quite a bit of work with the key beliefs he identified – and added a few of my own. I made a lot of progress.
Then it came time to look deeper.

On my retreat in January this year, I realised that deep inside, although my head knew I was connected to Source, and to some degree layers of my heart did too… I was still living out of an old core belief in separation.

I realised that this belief wasn’t just mine – it is the belief of most of humanity. Although at an intellectual level I had moved away from that belief, yet it was all around me and not so easy to shake off.  It is in my family and in those I see on a daily basis. Definitely in the religion I grew up in, and in my culture.

It is embedded in the collective consciousness of humankind – and it wasn’t so easy to move beyond it.

At a deep cellular level, I still felt separated. Even though  I believed I was part of God, I didn’t feel part of God.

It showed up every time I hit a fresh challenge – with the unexpressed thought/feeling this is
 wrong and needs fixing (= the world need to be different from how it is)

An alternative version which showed up very regularly is I am wrong/this is my fault (= I am wrong and need to be different)
It showed up with the anxiety that came up every time I saw my adult children hit a fresh challenge of their own – and my instinctive impulse to rescue/guide/advise them. (=they are in the wrong place and need me to help them get to the ‘right’ place = they/we need to be different from how they/we are)
And so while I was on my retreat back in January, the time came for me to address this big issue – the core underlying belief – the sense of separation.

There have been several points in my life where I’ve worked and moved towards a particular breakthrough or inner shift, sometimes for years.
From time to time I reach a point of knowing I can’t go any further by my own efforts. I’ve hit a wall inside that won’t budge by whatever means I have at my disposal

At this point I know I need to turn round and ask for a miracle – for Grace – to shift me from where I am, to where I need to be.

And this was one of those moments. I had a very clear image of where I was – standing on the edge of a river.

I was on the frontier of what I’ve come to call Separated-Land – looking across the river to Connected-Land.

So I prayed that night before I went to sleep – and simply said firmly that overnight I would be carried across the river and in the morning I was going to wake up in Connected-Land.

That was it!  No dramatics. No need to implore, or beseech, or hope.

A simple, clear and strong intention, combined with reaching that inner place of enough is enough . that was all it took

Because  in the morning I woke up – and I’d crossed. And I knew it straight away. I felt different – more secure and confident. Like the whole world was subtly brighter.

And I had a chance to test out this new state straight away.

 Because that day was day 2  of a 3 day retreat. And those of you who have done retreats will know that the middle can often be a sticky and challenging patch.

And that day was quite a challenge. In the course of it I experienced anger, confusion, frustration, resentment, tears and despair, and a splitting headache which lasted all day and into the night.

It was one of the most challenging days I’d had in quite a while.

And yet underneath all that, I knew that something was different in how I responded. Because I knew – I mean really knew – as in inside-felt-knowledge – that this was just a challenging day and I would get through it.

There was no sense of needing to be anywhere except where I was. No sense that being some place else (not even some ‘inner place’ else) was necessary. It was a challenging day,
And I didn’t like some parts of it much at all,

But underneath that I felt secure – and loved  and safe – in a way I hadn’t experienced before.

So here I am exploring Connected-Land – and thought I’d write and let you know about my adventures. And of course invite as many people over as would like to come.

Instead of Our Man In America I thought I’d be Our Woman In Connected-Land

Talk to you later!